Posted by Renee Schmidt

It has been many years since I last wrote anything. So much has changed. I don’t even know where to begin. 

I spoke to a coach today, something I’ve also not done in many years, and was surprised to find myself in tears. 

It was an introductory session, one offered to me as a sample. I didn’t seek out the coach, he literally came to me from the creator, offered as a gift. I went into it with no expectations and an open mind. I walked out realizing I need to uncover who I am again. How profound? And more interestingly, what a question: who am I?

Last year, in another conversation, I was asked to compile a list of my gifts and skills. Is this who I am?

Here is the list:

  • Organized
  • Able to obtain buy-in
  • Communication
  • Thoughtful
  • Ability to manifest
  • Detailed
  • Question everything
  • Perseverant
  • Intelligent
  • Understand things quickly
  • Ability to context shift very fast, glue ideas
  • Know what is needed
  • Know what people need
  • Can inspire by action
  • Ability to be in both worlds, spiritual and physical
  • Take complex things and simplify them
  • Thoughtful
  • Love fiercely
  • Care, care, care so much
  • Want things done right

Reading the list for the first time in over a year, it made me even more emotional. Why is that? 

I think the answer is connected to a beautiful message I received this week. I refer to messages like this as a “kiss from the creator.” Or in other words, a sign from the universe to explore something further, or to pay attention. 

This message was from a spiritual teacher about the energy of this week’s torah portion: 

A message from Rav Shlomo

In Vayigash we learn that having enough guts to listen to my own story is redemptive. 

As Yehuda realizes that there is nothing left for him to do, and begins to tell over his whole life story to the evil Egyptian ruler he is standing before, he notices something he didn’t expect.

He, himself, began listening to the words coming out of his own mouth. He listens with dignity, with patience, and with love.

At a certain point, he stopped talking to the viceroy and begins listening to his own words.

And when that moment happened… all masks come off of everyone.

I am emotional because I want to tell my story.

Having enough guts to listen to my own story is my redemption.

I want to share who I am.

Not for you, but for me.