The life of an entrepreneur is not a particularly easy one. Doors open one day and for weeks or months new ones can remain shut. When doors are shut and no amount of knocking will open them, there’s nothing to lean on but certainty. Sometimes that certainty stems from a distant reminder of when a door unexpectedly flung open in the past. Other times that certainty borders on mania, stemming from nothing more than an inexplicable knowing from within. People sometimes remark to me of their admiration of how far I’ve come as an entrepreneur (how far is actually debatable, but that’s a separate post). I share with them that where I am today is a combination of knowing (mania) and knowing I have no choice. Truth be told, a lot of my accomplishments have come from being put between a rock and a hard place by life, with little or no choice but to go down an entrepreneurial path (doesn’t sound that inspired, huh?).

Sometimes when I am coasting a while until the next thing, it hurts. Like for real. If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s not to complain. Complaints often lead to the suggestion that I go back to the corporate world. “Renee, why not just put yourself out of the misery of not knowing?” Fortunately (or unfortunately) I can’t. I can’t because there’s a deep feeling of conviction inside me that whispers to me that I’m destined for greatness; that I have something serious to channel to this world. Why else would I have been pushed down this path for so many years if all I was meant to do is work for someone else? It’s as if I know that only chaos would ensue if I walked off this narrow bridge, if the universe would even allow me to. A knowing that copping-out just isn’t an option. A knowing that all I can do is sit with that feeling of lack and desire and be certain it’s all part of the process. And to make use of the process as a good time to take stock of what I can learn about myself and how I can grow to new heights from it all.

There is a false belief that there’s a lot of risk associated with being an entrepreneur. I don’t think it’s risk, only a lot of fear. But the fear is not real. All of us long for some sort of security, for some semblance of control. But truth be told, whether we have a secure corporate job or hit the pavement each day looking for our next meal ticket, we have no control over what will happen to us in the next moment. There’s no security in even the most secure corporate job. Similarly, there’s no security in having billions in assets (we’ve seen more than one fortune vanish in an instant). Entrepreneurship is working hard. But working hard is a pre-requisite to any type of success. Entrepreneurship is also owning in each and every moment that the unknowns are real and many. And that life is truly out of our control. That is why being an entrepreneur is not about taking risk. It’s about acknowledging and managing fear. It’s a total surrender to the fact that I have no control. A total surrender to the fact that money is energy and that energy flows from the universe as freely as life itself. Entrepreneurship is the acknowledgment that if I let go, I might get smashed. Or I might just soar.